Blogs and friends

Over the past couple years of doing my blog, I've felt that this blog hasn't really been an efficient way to communicate to others what sorts of things are going on in our lives. Pretty sure I've had less than 10 comments total. Maybe even less than 5. Today I discovered that someone actually reads what I write, and I'd like to say "Thank You."

When I was in high school I thought I knew how to write a paper. I did fairly well in English and had a teacher that I loved. It's a good thing too, since I had her 3 times! I also felt that she taught us how to use MLA formatting in papers. Sadly, I didn't do very well on papers in college and discovered how poorly I communicated my thoughts on paper. I say all of this to let you know how difficult it is to write a blog. I try too hard to make it this fun cool thing with a theme. I tried early on to make all my posts start with the same letter. Needless to say, my life has become extremely busy between a husband, 2 jobs, 3 kids, a house, church and family responsibilities, and chores that never end. I just don't have time to be cute.

I try very hard to be candid without writing things that may be taboo for certain people. At some point, when I was very down and out, I created a completely secret blog that no one would be able to find simply for the sake of writing exactly what I felt without having to be sensitive to those who might read it. In any case, thanks for reading my mundane, boring tales of all the happenings in a regular boring life. I suppose I should thank God for my life being boring instead of the many trials and tribulations of this life we could be facing!

Family Update

Last week, Rachel and Julia went to the doctor for their 4 year and 2 month well visits respectively. I must say, I have never waited in our doctor's office quite like we did that day. We were there for an hour and a half. It was ridiculous. It wouldn't be so bad if we hadn't known that they didn't have much staff present, but they also had very few patients there when we were there. We waited for more than 15-20 minutes for the medical assistant to come give Rachel 2 shots and Julia 3 shots.

Rachel was being fairly uncooperative as usual. The doctor asked her several questions that she wouldn't answer and flipped out if he came near her. She was fine once she was convinced he wasn't going to hurt her.

Julia did well after they measured her because she was hungry, but thankfully we had time to wait until the doctor got there for her to eat and Rachel also went first.

I'm not really sure about Rachel's measurements because they are off from where she's been the past 3 years, but here they are:

Rachel at 4 is 41 1/4" (80%) and 34 pounds (40%)

Julia at 2 months is 24 3/4" (97%) and 13 pounds 7.5 ounces (90%)

To give you an idea of how Julia compares to the other girls, here are the stats for them at 2 months:

Rachel: 23 1/2" and 11 lbs 6 oz

Rebekah: 23 1/2" and 11 lbs 13 oz

In other words...she's HUGE!!!

This weekend was my birthday and all 3 girls spent the weekend with Nana and Papa! We also had a party, went out to eat, slept in, and got plenty of things done. It was probably one of the best birthdays ever!

Here's pictures of all the girls about the same age.

Working Mom Guilt

Taking care of 3 girls is very different than taking care of 2 girls. Over the past 2 years I have been a substitute nurse for Rockwall ISD, where Jeff works. It has been a great joy being able to work 1-2 days a week on an as needed basis. After the year was over I had talked with my boss about not coming back until January since I would be having a baby at the beginning of school. A few weeks into school I talked with one of the nurses I work for regularly and found out there are only 4 substitute nurses available in district. Since that time I had gotten several emails and a couple phone calls regarding working for a few different nurses. Feeling the need to help out, I took a job 1 1/2 weeks ago and thoroughly enjoyed being at school, surrounded by adults and kids who speak in full clear sentences most of the time. It was so great to be back working again. It was hard for me to imagine that I had left my 2 month old for a whole day already. When I started working 2 years ago, Rebekah was only 10 months old, but she was eating more solid foods. The idea that I was willing to leave my 2 month old behind 1 day a week kind of scare me.

I have a mental struggle going on in my head. It's hard to decide who's winning and where the statements are coming from. I fully understand that God has blessed our family with 3 lovely children who need attention and care and discipline and instruction to know what is right or wrong and why. I know that I have been charged with these blessings to raise them in the wisdom and instruction of the Lord. I also know that I go completely stir crazy sitting at home because I feel all I do on a daily basis is feed the kids and correct/guide them all day long. I really like how Michelle Duggar is so candid in their first book "The Duggars: 20 and Counting!" as she tells of times where she felt she went through her day doing nothing but correcting and disciplining her children. Well, I am right there. I know that if I am not consistent or am harder on one child than the other, they might resent me later in life. When you have an EXTREMELY stubborn child who has a hard time calming herself down, it makes life very difficult, especially when she throws a fit/gets into trouble while I'm nursing the baby.

Okay, so this mental struggle has 3 parts: 1)knowing I'm supposed to care for my kids as God has called me to do, 2)being completely frustrated, depressed and desperate to get away from my kids, and 3)wanting to work because I absolutely love what I do, even if I don't start IVs, give shots, save lives, or bring new ones into the world. I relish the days I get to work and the whole way home I become anxious to tell someone about the day I had. Even if I have a parent gripe for some unknown reason, work is still fantastic. Here enlies the GUILT! Because of reason 1, I feel SO guilty that I want to work. I think it helps my mood, my kids enjoy visiting with their grandparents, it keeps my brain working and thinking about things I was taught several years ago, and I get to talk to adults in the real world.

Even though I am involved in a Bible study and we go to church most Sundays, I don't really feel like I get to have real adult conversation about life. Most Sundays you say hi to people as you pass by and some might ask how you're doing, but most won't ask any follow up questions. I usually answer truthfully. "Okay" in my book isn't great or good, but it's also not terrible. If I answer "Fine" it's usually because I am "Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional" (taken from the new version of "The Italian Job." How many people will notice if I say something out of the ordinary.

Hopefully I can figure out what God is calling me to do soon. There are a few opportunities for me to find out how much I want to work and I hope we can figure out what is best for our family. The girls are getting bigger. Rachel just turned 4 and is so grown up. :( We went for a run this evening and had to make her go inside. I think we'll start her in soccer pretty soon. Rebekah is a terror, and when I say terror, I mean wild and crazy and into everything she's not supposed to be in. She can be very helpful and is growing up, but the child has a 6-pack! She's crazy strong and built like her mom! She's 2 1/2 and I feel every minute of it. Julia is 10 weeks/2 months old now. She's getting so big! She's tall like her biggest sister. She's in 6 month clothes and can wear some 9 month, but it's mostly because the cloth diapers take up extra room. Hopefully we will go to the doctor this week for our 4 year and 2 month check ups and we'll know more specifically how big these girls are!

A couple pictures for you!

Hair

Most of my life I have never understood why people grow beards and boys/men rebel and grow their hair long and wear mohawks or spiked and other odd ways. Now if this is something you like and want to do or let your kids do, then so be it, but my personal preference to have guys have short hair and clean shaven.

Today I was skimming the headlines on People and saw some comment about a football player's hair, so I clicked on it. On that page was a quiz on how people preferred the hair on different people who are famous. Out of curiosity, I started the quiz. Though I didn't know half the people on the quiz, I started to notice something. With the exception of 2-3 stars, greater than 90% of people "preferred" the men either clean shaven, short-haired, or a more natural look rather than beards, long hair, or hair with lots of product in it. After realizing the trend I was more paying attention to the results rather than what I was voting for.

Considering the rebellion of young people and our culture today of crazy rock stars and wild lifestyles, I was extremely shocked at the preference for the clean shaven. I have been noticing that since Troy Polamalu hair has become famous on the football field that a large number of linemen and defensive players have been growing their hair long. I'm not sure if this has to do with Polamalu or if it's simply superstition to not cut their hair on a winning streak, but it doesn't look good. Even the white guys are growing it long and they look just plain silly. Of course I don't understand how they could stand wearing a helmet with stubble on their faces either, but to each his own. What happened to QBs being the cute guys with a clean face and short hair? Have they made way for the bearded face of Ben Roethlisberger. Maybe Favre started it all with his short stubble and others have taken it further. I just don't like it.

Thank goodness it's Friday! That means I get to watch football for the next 3 days! Although, I doubt we'll go to the homecoming game tonight. The homecoming parade last night was exhausting enough! Go Yellowjackets! Beat the Scots!

8 Years Ago

8 years ago today, my brother, David Allen Hollowell, died at the age of 18 from cancer complications. He was a great young man with lots of potential. There are so many things about his life that I wish I could have seen played out over the years since he died, but God had other plans. One of my few good memories of the day he died was when my young cousin Ethan said to his mom, "David gets to worship with Jesus today." He died early on a Sunday morning before the sun had come up. I didn't sleep at all during the night because I stayed up talking with one of David's best friends discussing faith, life, and how things would be different when David was gone. I was supposed to be on a rotation with my parents to stay up with David, who hadn't really been awake in more than 24 hours. I watched his oxygen saturation steadily go down over a few hours. Eventually my parents woke up and they called the hospice nurse to let her know how low his numbers were. Some family and friends had been called to let them know how he was and they came and left, and came again. It was so hard seeing him die in need of oxygen and his heart pumping so hard to help, but it just ran out of steam.

There were some very important people there that day. Trent Futral, who stayed up with me so my parents could sleep and talked with me about David, his impact on his life, and the legacy he would be leaving behind. Stephanie Wilson (Pool) was there to hide my face in her shoulder as they took my brother out of the house to the funeral home. My best friend, Kara Van Dine drove in with my now husband, Jeff as soon as they heard. Jeff even got pulled over for speeding if you can believe it. When they got there, I just laid down to rest in a living room chair and was about to fall asleep. My 2nd mom from high school asked if I needed any food, and I gave her 2-3 dishes that I was dying to eat, since I was tired of eating Brookshire's fried chicken. I refuse to eat fried chicken with bones in it from any grocery store to this day. We literally received 4-5 boxes in 1 day. My aunt, uncle, and cousins came.

In the weeks leading up to and following David's death, there were so many people who were instrumental in helping us cope with the loss. David was on the area youth counsel (CYF-C) and they had gone to a Mercy Me concert and bought a shirt for David that they later brought to the hospital. I wore that shirt just 2 months ago and thought of them and their generosity towards their brother.

In some ways it seems like it was a lifetime ago because so much has happened since he died, but to think that it was only 8 years ago feels like maybe I missed something important. My parents have been amazing and have grieved well. I'm not sure I grieved well because I hate crying. I cry very easily, but I dislike it so much I fight it with every fiber of my being most days. When I do allow myself to cry, I'll just cry for a long time, like tonight, which is why I got up to blog about it. I don't mind talking about David and who he was and that he died, leaving me as an only child. I usually tell people that the one thing that always upsets me and makes me cry is that when we were younger, our parents would tell us we had to get along because when we got older, we'd only have each other to lean on when our parents died. Now I only have my husband. It makes me cry every time, no matter what. Our children will know who is was and that he's their uncle. We still have some of his things and my mom gave me a picture of us when we were little that's on our fridge, and there's a picture of him and my dad on prom night hanging on the wall. They get told it's Uncle David. I don't think they understand, but they will someday.

I guess I should go get some sleep on the off-chance that I have a baby in the next 24 hours.

RIP David Allen Hollowell

July 18, 1985-August 3, 2003

Forgotten Website

It's been way too long since writing on this blog. So much has happened and much has changed. Rachel is almost 3 1/2 and Rebekah just turned 2 last week. I had great intentions of blogging about our great travels in Northern Wisconsin and Illinois, but alas, I never got to it. Christmas even came and went without us sending out Christmas cards. Please don't think you've been barred from our list, because no one on our list got to feel special this year.

I have been working as a substitute for Rockwall ISD as a nurse, which I have thoroughly enjoyed. I also became a Scentsy Independent Consultant and was doing pretty well until after Christmas. No one has even asked me about Scentsy since more than a week before Christmas. I've also been keeping busy with the girls, our Junior High group at church, and getting in full swing planning Vacation Bible School this summer as one of the directors again.

Jeff is at the end of soccer season, which has gone really well. His JV team might win district or maybe win 2nd place, but no one's really keeping up, so we don't have the full scoop. The Varsity will win 3rd place in district and go to the playoffs. The girls team secured the district win last week and will get to play back to back games at the same stadium for the first round of playoffs. Should be exciting to watch next Friday.

The girls are growing like weeds. Rachel decided to skip the terrible two's and make it the terrible three's instead. Rebekah has been slow to learn her words, so it has been a little frustrating trying to get her to communicate with us. Didn't you know I don't speak wailing? Why a 2 year old thinks I know what she wants just by her standing there crying at me I'll never know. Rebekah has always seemed so short in comparison to Rachel, but when I measured them recently on our closet wall, Bekah is within 1/4 of an inch of how tall Rachel was at the exact age. Not sure if her growing trend will continue, but we shall see. Rachel seems much more involved in knowing how everything works and pretty coordinated/athletic. Rebekah is looking like she might be our clumsy child that is more artsy than athletic. She does love to dance, so maybe a few years in dance classes will teach her some coordination and grace.

Over Christmas we got the joy of telling our families that we are expecting our third child in August. For the first time in my pregnancies I actually had morning sickness. I threw up almost daily for a time and couldn't eat much food at a time. I also had limited types of food that would go down well. Sugar smelled really bad, so I didn't eat any over the Christmas holidays. It was very tough. Thankfully I'm about halfway through the pregnancy and starting to feel pretty good. I have been congested through most of the pregnancy and definitely even more tired the 3rd time around than even the 2nd pregnancy. We are very excited about our impending addition. We haven't decided yet if we want to know if we're having a boy or a girl. Our sonogram is the first week of April, so we have until then to decide. We are excited about giving birth at a nearby birthing center this time. We've always wanted to go this way but we didn't know how my body would function with labor and delivery. Since I was able to have 2 natural births in the hospital, we are confident that everything will go smoothly, and if not, we have options.

This Crazy Life

This summer, like last summer has been crazy! It's a really good thing that Jeff chooses not to get a second job during the summer, because I would be stuck at home all summer and we'd never get a vacation.

We started out like last year having several Junior High events in a short period of time, followed by soccer camp, Mommy & Me yoga class, and did I mention Vacation Bible School? This year our children's ministry team had a hard time finding directors to plan VBS this year, so I volunteered my services. I'm not really sure why, but it ended up being a great experience, even though I was pretty busy for a while. I got to plan VBS for our church kids and all the visitors that came in with 2 of my good friends.

Since all that took care of the first 3 weeks in June, July was around the corner and left town on the Wednesday after VBS for a 2 week trip to the North Woods in Wisconsin and Chicago area to visit family and spend some time as a family. I'm hoping to give our trip it's own post soon, but we had lots of fun and loved building relationships with Jeff's cousins, and getting to see his aunts and uncles too. Jeff's grandmother has 7 great-grandchildren, and all but 2 of them are under the age of 3. Four of them were born within a year of each other!

Now that we've been home for almost 2 weeks, we're starting to enjoy our summer. The girls are playing in the backyard, I got to have a girls night out at the movies with my MIL and SIL. Sidenote: Letters to Juliet is an excellent movie if anyone's interested or wants to purchase it for me for Christmas! :)

We are just now starting to get busy again. We are making an impromptu trip to Athens this weekend to see my Grandpa who has cancer and isn't doing well, and next week Jeff has soccer camp and coaching meetings. We also have something else that's evading my memory at the moment. Next weekend we get to hang out with our good friends in Tyler.

We have even made plans to go to San Antonio for a few days without the girls. We are very excited about this trip (or at least I am). Over the past couple of weeks we have been watching a few different websites looking for the best deal for a hotel on/near the Riverwalk and had found a few things, but not that we were ready to book. We used Hotwire to book our hotel rooms on our way up and back from Wisconsin and got some great deals at 2 different Holiday Inns. Both were very nice and probably the cheapest price you could pay for any hotel. Last night while perusing for information on Priceline's Name your own price option, I found a coupon for an auction website that was $100 your first purchase. I clicked to see what it was and found a very nice 4 star hotel on the riverwalk.

It was a package deal that includes:
3 night stay
breakfast each morning- room service or in the restaurant
dinner for 2 one night at their restaurant (Approximately $50 value)
rose petal turn down
champagne and strawberries upon arrival
All taxes included
Must pay $40 fee for something

This package claimed to be worth almost $900 according to the website. We also reasoned that the cheapest 4 star hotel we could get was at least $100/night after taxes. The one we considered making reservations for was $100 before taxes. On this idea, the auction had 1 bidder who had bid early on and we were hoping this person wasn't paying careful attention to it. With all coupons and taxes paid, I am VERY excited that we won the auction and paid less than $350 for everything. It would be really great if the deal covers the charge for parking! We'll still have to cover a few meals and gas, but I'm just really excited and proud of my hubby for his diligence and frugal ways! We'll have to give our vacation it's own post too with some pics of everything.