Barefoot 1

Saturday, November 14, 2015

The olden days

Do you know the phrase "They don't make things quite like they used to"? Well, I'm becoming more and more familiar with that phrase. Washers and dryers are only supposed to last about 10 years as opposed to the 20 they used to last. Vacuums used to last up to 20 years for the really good ones, but now they go out in 5-7 years, or 10 if you're lucky.

We will be looking for a new to us car in the next several months and as we've done some preliminary research, I have noticed you can get a fairly new car for around $7,000, but they seem to be very cheaply made and I am unsure of how long it would last. When we're talking about spending that kind of money, figuring out the pros and cons of getting an older, more reliable car with a few more miles on it versus a newer car being put up for sale already and makes you wonder what's wrong with it.

As I was getting ready for bed tonight I was deciding which pajama pants to wear. I was going through them and one has bad elastic, one is super soft (the waist is the smallest part of the pants, and I'm not small in the waist AT ALL), and the pair I chose is the best and I prayed that the elastic wasn't bad like one of my newest pairs. I'm super thankful that the elastic is fine.

I noticed, however, that the fabric on the waistband is coming breaking in places and the elastic was showing through. I'm ok that the fabric is worn, but I refuse to give them up. I have a few reasons, not the least of which is that these pants were my brother's when he was sick. He died in 2003, so that should tell you just how old these pants are. It would take a lot of wear for me to say goodbye to these pants. The other pair of pajama pants of his are entirely too big because the elasticity is almost completely gone, so I will have to throw those out soon. As fast as my newer pants have elastic that's breaking, I think I might have these pants until my kids are in high school!

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Guilt and Conviction

Well, a lot has happened in our family since May, but unless you've been close to us, you wouldn't have noticed. We applied to go work for FamilyLife Ministries in Little Rock, but we are officially on hold with that until next year at the earliest.

During the process the staff at FamilyLife kept saying they appreciated our honesty and then said, most people would just sweep it under the rug. It bugs me to no end that someone seeking a ministry position would lie on an application, knowing that if they told the truth, they may not get the job. If the lie becomes apparent later, would they lose the job?

With all of the applications and conversations with those close to us, some interesting things have been brought to our attention and God has been working on our hearts in those areas. Granted, we have other areas in which we need to seek God about, but 1 thing at a time.

When having a conversation recently with a friend of mine who is in ministry with me, she mentioned this book by Jen Hatmaker called 7: an experimental mutiny against excess (found here). I went and found it, and boy is it convicting. I have enjoyed her candor and willingness to tell it like it is. Even when she says her heart wasn't completely in the right place, she still stuck with God's plan and responded to the nudging of the Holy Spirit.

There have been many times where I have felt that nudge of something I should do that requires me to get out of my comfort zone, but have ignored it because it seemed inconvenient. I use the same excuses for why I don't exercise. I feel like I should and my 2 oldest need to run more to be in shape for soccer season, but I have 2 other kids that I would have to push in the stroller and it would be hard for me to keep up with them, so why bother? Sound familiar?

FamilyLife is having a Oneness Prayer Challenge for the month of September. Jeff and I have decided to participate and on the first day, we prayed that we would make praying together a priority and wouldn't just forget about it. On day 2, we almost went to bed without praying together, but I said something to him and it turned into a long, almost heated discussion until after midnight. We were honest with each other and had a hard time praying about what we were supposed to pray about because we were having a discussion on our differences. We were supposed to be thankful about our differences and praise God for each other's strengths that make us a better team together. We did calm down, but we were up later than usual.

Stay tuned for more updates on how 7 is impacting me and how things go when a few of my friends and I embark on a 7 inspired journey, seeking God's will in what He wants to teach us.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Weight Gain

So, back in January I did a program called Whole 30 that I blogged about here and here. I felt good for a while, but after spring break, I think I became depressed again.  I had a hard time being involved with the kids in their schooling, despite the fact that we created a chore chart that they do each day.  It was a struggle.  Until recently when I became more active and then the girls followed suit, getting started each day was a big pain. I'm not a morning person and I've said on here that I don't like mornings. I'm not sure I've brought my Vitamin D levels back up yet because I feel tired most of the time still, or get tired after just short activities.

I have gained much of the weight back and have started another round of Whole 30 and just finished Day 4. Whole 30 has a timeline to help you understand that the way you are feeling on a certain day of the diet is pretty common across board for people on Whole 30. The last time I did this, I didn't feel quite so anxious and frustrated like the first few days after you quit anything addicting cold turkey.  I had my hangover on Day 1 instead of day 2-3. We will see how the rest of the days go.  The first time around wasn't too bad because I don't drink sodas or coffee. I do have a slight addiction to sugar, mostly because if there's sugar in the house I try to eat it quickly so I can get it out of the house, and because when I get mad, frustrated or angry, I eat, sometimes beyond my limits. I hope that with this next round, I will find a way to eat close to Whole 30 and be able to add in some non Whole 30 foods without going overboard.

The one thing I felt I did a little better at was going to bed at a reasonable hour. It's not exactly a reasonable hour right now, but I should still get 7+ hours of sleep if I finish this blog and go to bed.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Expectations and Sin

Well, I have yet again been let down by the human condition.  You plan something four months in advance and it all falls apart less than a week before it happens.  This isn't the first time I've been let down and disappointed by others, and it certainly won't be the last.

It also doesn't help that when we are disappointed by others it somehow brings to light our own sin.  I'd like to get mad at people who commit to something and then back out at the last minute, but then my pride and anger come out and then I'm sinning just as much as others who are being flaky and backing out of their commitments.  I understand if a family emergency comes up because we would likely be involved in the family event also, but to disregard children to comfort a friend across the country when you already have plans is just plain selfish.

I also know that the younger women should learn from the older women, but at some point an older woman might need to be confronted by a younger women.  Even in old age, people can change, especially if there's a glaring sin in their life.  We hope to continue learning how to be more Christ-like and overcoming the sin in our life through God's hope.

Recently I have started journaling more often and hope to get some of my feelings out so I don't keep them to myself and forget what I've been thinking.  Please pray that we will find a sitter for this weekend and that we will see God at work through this process instead of being angry at those who've disappointed us.  They are indeed sinners, like everyone on the planet and we hope that we will have the opportunity to give them grace.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Sundays

Almost since the beginning of our marriage Sundays have been a rough day in our house. When I'm pregnant I feel like I don't have anything that fits. Post pregnancy I eit hadn't lost enough weight, or I lost the weight, but got depressed and gained lots of it back (more common), or I was upset and depressed and got upset and flustered by the littlest things and when momma's unhappy, nobody happy. Other times we have too many things to do on a Sunday instead of relaxing and enjoying God's creation and all he's done for us. It makes Sunday stressful instead of a way to recharge before Monday. I think it is starting to make our Mondays almost unbearable. 

Maybe the solution needs to involve a change in my perspective or expectations of the outcome of the day. Maybe we need to be less busy on Saturday so we feel like we are able to rest a little before the week begins again. 

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Results and Moving Forward

Doing the Whole30 was a great thing for me to do.  I lost a few inches that I know of, and I have no idea what I weighed when I started.  I don't think I want to know either.  Many of my skirts and jeans that didn't fit previously, fit now, so that's the best part of all of this.  I just hope I don't gain the weight back.  I felt better at the end of it.

I was afraid of incorporating the foods I had previously not been eating for fear of eating too much food, or the wrong food.  I did start to get very grumpy, tired and frustrated, my stomach hurt occassionally, and I felt like I was all of a sudden busier than I had been previously, with less time to prepare meals.

I went to the doctor recently and found out that some of my tired feeling was because of my low Vitamin D.  The normal amount for the test they ran is 30-100 and my number is an 11.  Impressive, I know.  I seem to be fairly healthy other than that.  I also found out that my vitamins that I've taken for the past 8+ years has rice bran in it, so I stopped taking them for my Whole30 and haven't quite gotten back into the habit of taking them again, but I'm trying.

At the end of this, I was hoping to start another Whole 30 right away because my cousin is getting married during spring break, but I didn't start it right away and wasn't feeling well, and I don't want to be in the middle of the Whole30 at the wedding and then feel like I was cheating.  I am so thrilled for my cousin and his soon to be wife.  He's an amazing man and she seems very nice and perfect for him. I will be watching what I eat though.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Dieting

I am currently doing the Whole30.  I didn't know anything about a few weeks ago, but a friend of mine on Facebook said she was going to do it, so I decided to try it out.  It scared me to death to go without cheese, pasta, bread, etc.. In general, it hasn't been hard to figure out what I could eat, but I have to read a lot of labels.  Apparently there are a lot of items I wasn't aware of that I wasn't allowed to eat the first few days.

To give you a general idea, the Whole30 is 30 days of no sugar, alcohol, gluten, legumes, dairy, rice, and eating lots of vegetables and meat.  Fruit is allowed sometimes, nuts (certain kinds) and seeds (but not their oils).

My mistakes:

1. I ate cheese on accident. I did it once thinking I had picked up the sausage below that I probably shouldn't have eaten, and my kids left cheese out with a slice on the knife they didn't eat, so I took a bite.  While I was chewing I realized I was eating cheese and wasn't supposed to, so I spit it out and rinsed out my mouth.
2. I ate sausage that probably had, soybean oil, or MSG, or sugar, or any number of items I wasn't supposed to eat, but didn't realize it.
3. I ate bacon and because it was uncured bacon, I thought it wouldn't have sugar in it.  Apparently there is only one kind of bacon sold in America that doesn't have sugar in it.  I think that's pretty sad.
4. I had sesame oil one day for dinner without realizing that seed oils are on the "no" list.  You can eat the seeds, but not the oils.  I didn't read the science on why not.
5. I ate a few dried cherries, which in themselves isn't on the "no" list, but these particular cherries had sugar in them, which makes them a no.  I was hoping to make my own Larabar type snacks so I could eat something healthy and a little different than just vegetables.
6. They say you should read their book, It Starts with Food, before beginning your Whole30 and plan out your meals so that you get just what you need on your shopping trips.  I didn't.  I did it on a whim.  I'll probably do it again another time, and I'll be more prepared next time.  I have the book now.

I'm on day 18 and I keep seeing all of these foods on commercials and looking through pinterest for foods I can eat and it's hard to watch.  I rarely snack, but some mornings I have a hard time finding breakfast because I'm either out of eggs or sick of them.  I'm also not a morning eater.  So far I don't think I've lost any inches or pounds, but I don't have a scale at home.  I didn't weight or measure myself before I started, but I measured myself on day 10 (though they tell you not to do either).

I'm also tired of eating at home.  It has been 2 weeks since I ate out at a restaurant and am dying to not eat at home.  I ate at Chipotle with a friend thinking I was eating Whole30 compliant, but didn't realize I got the wrong kind of meat in my research that wasn't complete.  i did go to my husband's soccer game and had a hamburger that was just meat with no seasonings and no added ingredients. I also really like to eat dessert. Not every day, but yesterday would have been a good day for dessert.

All that being said, I wasn't eating too poorly before I started.  I've read blogs by different people because they have to stop drinking alcohol, or they can no longer put milk or sugar in their morning coffee.  I don't drink coffee or alcohol.  I was starting to drink more hot tea because it's winter, and I put maybe a teaspoon in each cup to cut down on the bitterness.  I only drink sodas once in a while.  We never buy drinks in twelve packs.  I tend to be careful about what my family eats, but when I get frustrated, I start eating whatever sugar I can find.  I would say I haven't been quite so grumpy and wanting sugar, so much as I have wanted food from outside my home.  We make our own bread from flour, water, yeast, olive oil, salt and a little sugar in our bread machine, the only box mix I buy is macaroni and cheese, I always use fresh or frozen vegetables with the exception of diced tomatoes and black beans (which I realize is not a vegetable), and I only buy fresh fruit with the exception of natural applesauce that only has vitamin C to keep it from browning.  Maybe my days of intaking sugar were causing my problems, but there's also a chance I have a thyroid problem, since my thyroid has been enlarged since I was early in pregnancy with my 4th child 2 years ago and it hasn't gone away.  I need to go see a family practitioner for a regular check up, but haven't been to the doctor since my follow up visit after Nathan was born.  I guess I'll get started in making doctor appointments.