Lovingkindness

I think I need some work. Of course, we all do. If our work on earth were done, God would be calling us home. I have been thinking about our friends and family this week who have adopted or had trouble getting pregnant. I absolutely love seeing pictures of their kids growing and changing and surpassing milestones. It just amazes me how much kids change in such a short period of time. Disclaimer: I really love these kids and praise God for answers to so many prayers over the years and mean no disrespect to any friends of family in the following statements. They are simply observations (and maybe a little soap box) and make me wonder about how my life used to be. When I see pictures of these sweet kids I just wonder what my life was like with only one kid. Did I take a thousand pictures and upload them all to Facebook? Did I change her outfit 4 times/day just so she would wear all of the clothes we had at least once? Were we too uptight because we didn't give her any sugar until her first birthday? Are we crazy to not indulge our children just because they want something? Even though I am a nurse and worked in a pediatrician's office before my kids were born, does not mean I know everything about kids and how to take care of them. Are they portable? Yes! So why not take them with you on whatever trip/outing you go on. Some of our friends and family took their child to the zoo at least once to the zoo before they were 6 months old. Others have taken pictures with a sign and a specific animal monthly to document how much they have grown. Still others deck out car seats with toys and strap covers that don't allow the parents to properly place the chest clip on the chest where it belongs. Soap box moment: Our new car seat actually tells you where to place the chest clip on the child. Please read and follow directions-it's not difficult. Children, especially babies, are not supposed to wear coats while strapped in their car seat. The belts aren't tight enough to hold them in the car seat and often sit off their shoulders just in case you are in an accident. Also, by adding things like said strap covers or headrest to a car seat that didn't come with the car seat, you are voiding the car seat's warranty. They will not honor it if anything happens to the car seat or your child if the car seat is not used as it came from the manufacturer or as instructed in the owners manual. Now on with it.. I need to be more thankful for my kids. I didn't struggle to get pregnant. I haven't had a miscarriage, or pregnancy complications. We have had several friends who have been unable to have children or who have struggled with infertility treatments and/or miscarriages. Many of them have adopted or were eventually able to have kids of their own in the past year or so and now are doting on their wonderful children God has provided. They have prayed for them for so long and once they found out about the child God would give them, they began praying for the kind of person they would be. Each one has been blessed beyond measure with multiple baby showers, and lots of love and support from friends and family who have been praying with them. I keep wondering how they have that kind of time on their hands and if I wasted mine because I don't remember taking a 100 pictures a week, and I certainly didn't get multiple showers with lots of gifts. I don't remember holding her all the time, or watching her sleep. Our friends and family are taking in their kids and enjoying every second they have with them. I don't think I have had that kind of appreciation for my kids because I didn't struggle on that end. We are very thankful to have healthy kids and hope that they remain healthy. I don't know how I would view life and what kind of thanks I would give if we had a child get diagnosed with cancer, or if one of them got pneumonia or meningitis. To date I haven't been fully acknowledging God for just how much we have been blessed with. I guess it's really easy to forget that God doesn't promise us tomorrow. I just hope that the more I get to see these precious children that God has blessed each one of us with that I will continue to give thanks for each moment I have with each of my kids. Maybe that will spur me on to make the most of the time I have with them because I may not have a lifetime to give them all I want to say or teach to them. May God give each of us a heart of thankfulness that we will recognize each gift He gives and that we would want to love and obey him in return for the love and kindness he shows to us each day.

Lifeline

My husband is always joking/complaining that I am addicted to my computer and I probably am. I usually am on my iPod, my desktop, or stealing my husband's laptop when he is home, which is what I'm doing now. My day today consisted of frustration, overeating because of the frustration and overall malaise. I'm not sure if it's a postpartum issue or the fact that I don't interact much with adult females. I have been trying to be out of my comfort zone and call someone when I am overwhelmed by the filthiness that is my house or frustrated by my 4 1/2 year old that is unable to keep her pants/panties/dresses/shorts/and sometimes shirts dry. She'd had 3 accidents by noon, and that was after I took her stinky overnight diaper off of her around 8:30. I was behind. I went to bed early last night instead of staying up with my Bible study and planning this week's school lessons. I still am, and I doubt I will catch up this week. We were supposed to have a homeschool field trip tomorrow that got cancelled because the scheduling people at the arboretum dropped the ball. It's very sad, so now I am going on a field trip with just my family and no adults to talk to. I have a lot to say. I had a baby almost 3 months ago and I no longer live kind of close to any of my friends, so I just need to talk. I mentioned in my last post that no one talks at Bible study. When talking about prayer requests several people just say "unspoken." I don't have a clue how long it's been since I've heard that term, but it's been a while. Now, I understand that God hears all our prayers, but is God really supposed to know what "Jane's" unspoken request is? What if she's had 5 different unspoken requests with 3 different groups on 4 different days. How is God supposed to know which one we're talking about? Couldn't it just be that you're too embarrassed to mention it out loud, or afraid it will hurt your pride, or maybe you think someone in the room will go tell someone else? I thought Bible study is a safe place to mention our problems and let others pray with us and help us through them. Things that are said there, stay there, kind of like Las Vegas. Not that I would know because I've never been, really. I'm sure God really does know about these unspoken requests, but He wants us to be specific, because He wants to give us our desires. Jeff's (husband) cousin went on a girls weekend with some of her friends and I was thinking I need to do that. I really need girl time. Usually the only time I get away for a weekend is for a women's retreat, which is great and all, but I'm thinking I need a weekend to just get away with the girls, just to talk and do nothing, and that includes no television. I doubt that will ever happen, because like one of the ladies from our homeschool group said, if I ever get a couple of days to get away, I'm going with my husband. Isn't that so true, but I just really need girl time. I'm not getting it, and somehow my husband thinks that I'm connecting with people on Facebook (God love him). Facebook is not a means of making real connections. Maybe tomorrow I will vent about my lack of exercise and how that (and my overeating) is contributing to my malaise and clear lack of motivation.

A Long Time Coming

Well, it's clearly been a long time. I think facebook, twitter, and instagram took over for blogging. I know there are blogs out there still active because I find them on pinterest regularly in my search of new recipes, hints about homeschooling, insider information about trips to Walt Disney World (WDW) and others. Where should I start? We had planned to go to WDW this past summer with my parents who had a conference to go to, but God decided to change our plans and give us a son instead! I (Teri) gave birth to Nathan Earl Lehmann on July 29th and he is a cutie! It was a little weird having a boy at first, but he hasn't peed all over the place like I've been told. It's only happened 4 times on my watch (not including baths of course), and I swear my girls would pee without a diaper on a lot more than he has so far. He's super sweet and a pretty content and happy character. He sleeps really well, which I love! The girls are getting bigger and we have been homeschooling the past (almost) 2 years. I can't believe Rachel will be 6 tomorrow. Julia turned 2 in August, and if her height is accurate and she really reaches double her height at 2, which will be 6'2"! Crazy tall! Of course I was supposed to be 5'5" and look how that turned out (I'm shorter). Bekah is just Bekah. She has a personality all her own, stubborn and bull-headed, but she has the heart of a servant at her core. She will be able to do anything she sets her mind to if she can channel that strong will in the right direction. Since we lived in a fairly small house, we moved! We were planning on moving closer to church without moving too far from Jeff's job. Just in case, we also kept our eyes on homes in Rockwall. Most of the homes in the area of our church were too expensive or too small, or both. Rockwall had some decent prices occassionally, but they were usually tiny yards, or needed too much updating for the price. One day I panicked and looked on the other side of Jeff's work in Forney. The first house I saw was perfect and a decent price per square foot. We ended up buying in Forney, but not the house I wanted, it was the house I nearly discarded because there was a view of the middle school football field from the house. So far, the lights haven't bothered us, and you rarely hear the crowd. We even get peewee football games on Saturday night that we watch occassionally from the upstairs window, or we at least check the score. Because I went crazy and we decided to move to Forney, we have had to put ourselves out there. We have found a church we like, have joined a small group, and are starting to find friends. The big girls are playing soccer and we joined a homeschool group. We have been hearing about lots of families in town that homeschool and have met several of them. They just don't seem to live in our neighborhood. I feel very alone and isolated. I go to Bible study, but we don't eat food, no one talks. They only mentioned their names once, so I don't know many of them. Of course there are only 14 total if they all show up and we are usually finished 15-30 minutes early for a 2 hours Bible study and Beth Moore talks for an hour. People are starting to chat with us at small group, but it still feels a little like we're the visitors. It seems so weird that we've been gone from our other church for 4 months. It feels like forever and like it was just yesterday at the same time. We're busy most days of the week and yet I feel like I'm stuck inside all the time. Not sure when this feeling will end.