.jpg)
I've been pondering for a long time how we (Jeff and I), as shy people can share the gospel of who Christ is and what He's done for the world. I very much want to shout at people and say, don't you understand who Christ is? Haven't you heard His name? How can you not believe? I say this as someone who's been in church from conception until now, with a brief 1 year withdrawal my freshman year in college. Since then I have learned more than I could have ever guessed. (back on topic) I don't understand how people, gentile and Jew, can miss the Deity of Christ or the fact that he is the Messiah Israel has been awaiting for far too long. It seems so easy a child can understand, which is the simple part of the gospel. I suppose that's why adults find it so difficult to fathom.
Continuing in my semi-straight line (FYI-I've never been able to draw or cut a straight line): I don't know that I have ever shared the gospel. Maybe I have and I don't realize it. I have tried to be very intentional in sharing the gospel with our girls in a very real way recently. I remember talking with them this week while reading a book about Jesus' birth the the star of Bethlehem that the wise men from the east followed to find Jesus. They know full well who Baby Jesus is and that He's important. We were talking about Jesus and how he died on the cross when Rachel piped in and said Jesus didn't die. I think she knows full well that he lived and rose again, but that he died completely in order to offer Himself as a living sacrifice is a little beyond her. I think she loves Jesus and knows He loves her. I pray that someday soon she will trust Christ and welcome Him into her heart.
A couple years ago, our church went through a series for the whole church to learn about what the gospel is and how to share your testimony. We were even teaching our Junior High students how they can share their own testimony. We spent several weeks going through their testimonies by asking specific questions for them to answer and showing them that these questions are having them spell our their testimony. This testimony is the best way to share Christ with others. The hard part for me is actually telling people my testimony. It's not that I don't know what my testimony is, but it feels like it's uninteresting (which ironically enough we told the students that everyone's testimony is unique to them and important). -Testimony to follow at the end.
Onward in a sort of straight line- I want to be able to share the gospel with others, but I'm afraid their going to say, yea, I know that, or I'm a Christian (so I'll quit bugging them or because that's what most people say), or being completely comfortable knowing that all I have to do is tell them the Gospel or my testimony through the Gospel and leave the results up to God. I love the quote by the head coach in Facing the Giants " I've resolved to give God everything I've got. Then I'll leave the results up to Him." I just don't think I can be comfortable in letting God do the work. I have such a hard time letting God work in my life. I've decided too many times that I've got to do everything myself or it just won't get done, or at least done the way I want it done. I've been trying to let the girls choose some things on their own, knowing they don't matter, like picking out their clothes. I give them some parameters like it must be pants and long sleeves, but I try to let it go even if it doesn't match. It's a hard thing to let your kids not match, but it's even harder for me to let go of the idea that someone's salvation depends on whether I deliver the gospel in the right way or not. The good news is, it's not up to me. I'm just the vessel God chooses to tell others about Christ (if I choose to obey) and what He did on the cross to save the world from sin. Only the Holy Spirit can save a person by working in their lives.
Have I mentioned I have a hard time letting go? I think of the lovely movie with Bill Murray "What About Bob?". I just have to take baby steps. Not sure how straight that was, but I tried to stay on point with just a few side notes.
Okay, I promised my testimony.
As I said earlier, I've been in church since conception. My father was in seminary when I was born and was soon given a job at his first church. It was at this church that I accepted Christ as my savior. Throughout my youth I continued to learn more about what it meant to be a Christian and other pieces of history in the Bible. I fully believed that I needed God, but being the strong-willed stubborn child that I was, I chose to not listen or disobey in late adolescence. Thankfully, I came to my senses about the time I turned 20. I met this great guy (my husband) during my freshman year that really challenged me and asked me some hard questions that I should have known the answers to. I learned a lot by questioning my actions and beliefs and had to know first hand what the Bible had to say about all of this. I learned quickly that I didn't really know much about the Bible I claimed to believe was true and desired to learn as much as I could. This led me to a great church that we still attend, were married in, and treasure dearly. It also led to some great relationships and a great sense of awe in who God is. No matter how much I try to learn, I will never be able to fully comprehend God because of my humanness. I'm so thankful that Jesus, Emmanuel, I Am, was sent to earth to fulfill the Law that we may have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10). Jesus was born as a baby, lived a perfect life (For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God-Romans 3:23), died on the cross as the sacrificial lamb of God, was buried, and was resurrected 3 days later conquering the power of sin and paying the price for our sins (For the wages of sin is death-Romans 6:23a). I am far from a perfect person living a perfect life, but I thank God that my sin (past, present, and future) has been paid for and I look forward to the day when either Jesus returns or calls me to heaven that I may be made perfect in Him.
