Sundays

Almost since the beginning of our marriage Sundays have been a rough day in our house. When I'm pregnant I feel like I don't have anything that fits. Post pregnancy I eit hadn't lost enough weight, or I lost the weight, but got depressed and gained lots of it back (more common), or I was upset and depressed and got upset and flustered by the littlest things and when momma's unhappy, nobody happy. Other times we have too many things to do on a Sunday instead of relaxing and enjoying God's creation and all he's done for us. It makes Sunday stressful instead of a way to recharge before Monday. I think it is starting to make our Mondays almost unbearable. 

Maybe the solution needs to involve a change in my perspective or expectations of the outcome of the day. Maybe we need to be less busy on Saturday so we feel like we are able to rest a little before the week begins again. 

Results and Moving Forward

Doing the Whole30 was a great thing for me to do.  I lost a few inches that I know of, and I have no idea what I weighed when I started.  I don't think I want to know either.  Many of my skirts and jeans that didn't fit previously, fit now, so that's the best part of all of this.  I just hope I don't gain the weight back.  I felt better at the end of it.

I was afraid of incorporating the foods I had previously not been eating for fear of eating too much food, or the wrong food.  I did start to get very grumpy, tired and frustrated, my stomach hurt occassionally, and I felt like I was all of a sudden busier than I had been previously, with less time to prepare meals.

I went to the doctor recently and found out that some of my tired feeling was because of my low Vitamin D.  The normal amount for the test they ran is 30-100 and my number is an 11.  Impressive, I know.  I seem to be fairly healthy other than that.  I also found out that my vitamins that I've taken for the past 8+ years has rice bran in it, so I stopped taking them for my Whole30 and haven't quite gotten back into the habit of taking them again, but I'm trying.

At the end of this, I was hoping to start another Whole 30 right away because my cousin is getting married during spring break, but I didn't start it right away and wasn't feeling well, and I don't want to be in the middle of the Whole30 at the wedding and then feel like I was cheating.  I am so thrilled for my cousin and his soon to be wife.  He's an amazing man and she seems very nice and perfect for him. I will be watching what I eat though.

Dieting

I am currently doing the Whole30.  I didn't know anything about a few weeks ago, but a friend of mine on Facebook said she was going to do it, so I decided to try it out.  It scared me to death to go without cheese, pasta, bread, etc.. In general, it hasn't been hard to figure out what I could eat, but I have to read a lot of labels.  Apparently there are a lot of items I wasn't aware of that I wasn't allowed to eat the first few days.

To give you a general idea, the Whole30 is 30 days of no sugar, alcohol, gluten, legumes, dairy, rice, and eating lots of vegetables and meat.  Fruit is allowed sometimes, nuts (certain kinds) and seeds (but not their oils).

My mistakes:

1. I ate cheese on accident. I did it once thinking I had picked up the sausage below that I probably shouldn't have eaten, and my kids left cheese out with a slice on the knife they didn't eat, so I took a bite.  While I was chewing I realized I was eating cheese and wasn't supposed to, so I spit it out and rinsed out my mouth.
2. I ate sausage that probably had, soybean oil, or MSG, or sugar, or any number of items I wasn't supposed to eat, but didn't realize it.
3. I ate bacon and because it was uncured bacon, I thought it wouldn't have sugar in it.  Apparently there is only one kind of bacon sold in America that doesn't have sugar in it.  I think that's pretty sad.
4. I had sesame oil one day for dinner without realizing that seed oils are on the "no" list.  You can eat the seeds, but not the oils.  I didn't read the science on why not.
5. I ate a few dried cherries, which in themselves isn't on the "no" list, but these particular cherries had sugar in them, which makes them a no.  I was hoping to make my own Larabar type snacks so I could eat something healthy and a little different than just vegetables.
6. They say you should read their book, It Starts with Food, before beginning your Whole30 and plan out your meals so that you get just what you need on your shopping trips.  I didn't.  I did it on a whim.  I'll probably do it again another time, and I'll be more prepared next time.  I have the book now.

I'm on day 18 and I keep seeing all of these foods on commercials and looking through pinterest for foods I can eat and it's hard to watch.  I rarely snack, but some mornings I have a hard time finding breakfast because I'm either out of eggs or sick of them.  I'm also not a morning eater.  So far I don't think I've lost any inches or pounds, but I don't have a scale at home.  I didn't weight or measure myself before I started, but I measured myself on day 10 (though they tell you not to do either).

I'm also tired of eating at home.  It has been 2 weeks since I ate out at a restaurant and am dying to not eat at home.  I ate at Chipotle with a friend thinking I was eating Whole30 compliant, but didn't realize I got the wrong kind of meat in my research that wasn't complete.  i did go to my husband's soccer game and had a hamburger that was just meat with no seasonings and no added ingredients. I also really like to eat dessert. Not every day, but yesterday would have been a good day for dessert.

All that being said, I wasn't eating too poorly before I started.  I've read blogs by different people because they have to stop drinking alcohol, or they can no longer put milk or sugar in their morning coffee.  I don't drink coffee or alcohol.  I was starting to drink more hot tea because it's winter, and I put maybe a teaspoon in each cup to cut down on the bitterness.  I only drink sodas once in a while.  We never buy drinks in twelve packs.  I tend to be careful about what my family eats, but when I get frustrated, I start eating whatever sugar I can find.  I would say I haven't been quite so grumpy and wanting sugar, so much as I have wanted food from outside my home.  We make our own bread from flour, water, yeast, olive oil, salt and a little sugar in our bread machine, the only box mix I buy is macaroni and cheese, I always use fresh or frozen vegetables with the exception of diced tomatoes and black beans (which I realize is not a vegetable), and I only buy fresh fruit with the exception of natural applesauce that only has vitamin C to keep it from browning.  Maybe my days of intaking sugar were causing my problems, but there's also a chance I have a thyroid problem, since my thyroid has been enlarged since I was early in pregnancy with my 4th child 2 years ago and it hasn't gone away.  I need to go see a family practitioner for a regular check up, but haven't been to the doctor since my follow up visit after Nathan was born.  I guess I'll get started in making doctor appointments.

Snippets

I have so many things I want to say and no where to say them.

1. My cousin gave birth last week!  I am so excited.  My cousins are the closest things I have to siblings, so it's like the first cousins on my side of the family.

2. I've gotten very susceptible to the adoption bug.  There's a little boy that was recently removed from a very tough situation.  We REALLY need prayers for wisdom.

3. I've discovered over the last several years, that as much as I love giving gifts, the traditions of others and getting money instead of gifts is understandable but annoying at times.

4. I get exhausted when we are busy, but I get lazy when I have nothing to do and it isn't pretty.

5. Soccer has started, I have to get dinner ready by myself and sometimes I serve it alone too, and I haven't doubled recipes lately to keep stock in my freezer for January.

6. PSA: It is recommended by the APA to keep children in a rear facing position until the age of 2. In Texas they are also required by law to be in some sort of booster seat until the age of 8 or until they are 4'9" tall, whichever comes first. Here are the details and guidelines for buying car seats of all sizes in all states.

7.  Also in the car seat discussion: Coats are not to be worn with a five point harness.  There's too much space between the baby/child and the safety harness.  There's a big risk your child could get thrown from the seat/vehicle in the event of a crash.

8. Some friends of ours are experiencing Christmas for the first time as parents and she posted on her blog recently about their plan.  We had been following her plan for the most part, but I hadn't quite thought it through this year. It goes something like this:
       Something you want
       Something you need
       Something to wear
       Something to read
I found this on Pinterest and they added two lines to it that we already do, but thanks to their blog we may begin to change our tradition on giving.
       Something to hang on the Christmas tree
       and something to give to the least of these

9. We had our Christmas cards finished before Christmas last year, but I didn't stamp or close them, so they sat on our counter for 5 months.  One of those envelopes was for a dear friend, but she died before we got the letter to her. I hope we can get our cards out much sooner this year.

Adoption

I think I have stated on here that several of our friends are fostering or adopting, or both.  I have great respect for them.  With our family already having four kids close together, it's not in the cards for us right now to take on another child.  I work with a child that has gone through the foster system, and sure he's hyperactive, but he can read fairly well (but apparently not quite at grade level), and he seems like he's adjusting fairly well.  It's not until you try to talk to him about how things are going does he get defensive and shut down.  Some other people we know are waiting to go get their son, but the country is closed to adoption, so they can't get in country to bring him home.  My heart just wouldn't be able to bear the constant up and down of emotions.  I've gone through enough of that in my pregnancies, and we can't go through that again for a while.

I think what God wants us to do is to be open to Him.  Be receptive to His leading and obey what He says.  We feel it's best to not get pregnant right now, but that doesn't mean in a few years we would ignore God's instruction to expand our family, either by a child of our own or an adoption, I can't say. It breaks my heart to hear about children, not just orphans, who don't get to go to school, or don't have money for food.  I feel like I should care for them all, but know it's not reasonable for our family right now.

We are called as Christians to care for the widows and orphans, but that doesn't mean we will have them running all through our home. We keep praying about adoption, but we aren't there yet, and we may never be.

I have a heart for families with young children, but have to be content with my place now. My mother-in-law helps young families as often as she can. I keep praying that when my kids are older I will be able to do the same for the young families around me. I can't be if much help other than encouraging and praying for young and new moms while I have 4 little ones running around.

Parenting

So have you seen those kids in public who throw a knock down drag out tantrum?  You know the ones, usually 2-3 years old and the mothers are desperately trying to get them to stop throwing a fit and embarrassing her and themselves in public.

Well, I've been one of those parents dealing with a kid throwing a public tantrum lately, only the child of mine throwing the fit is five and a half.  I'm usually worried about if they think I'm trying to steal her or if I'm abusing her.  I do my best not to look at anyone for fear of the stares or comments coming my way.  Last Saturday at the game she asked to come off the field to go to the bathroom.  After coming off she refused to go, so I carried her, the ENTIRE way to the bathroom, and she grunted at me for several minutes in the bathroom before she relaxed enough to go to the bathroom.  At practice earlier this week, she threw a fit and refused to do what she was asked to do during a drill, so I made her sit in the stroller facing the baseball fields until she calmed down (it didn't take too long), and she was allowed to return to practice.

Today...oh today...she was warned because of her behavior in previous games that if she threw a fit she wouldn't get to go back in the game.  She started grunting and then she started screaming and stomping and flailing her arms about.  I tried to put her in the stroller to give her a chance to calm down, but she escaped and continued screaming, so we tried to leave.  I carried her all the way back to the car while pushing the stroller.  Thankfully my sister-in-law was there to carry Nathan to the car.  I set her down in the car, my SIL let my 3 y.o. in the car, I buckled my 1 y.o. in his seat, and closed the door.  She was still throwing a fit when I shut the door, but she can't get out of the vehicle without going out the front door.  For the record, she rode the whole way home with no seat belt on because I refused to pin her down to attempt to put her belt on. Today was probably her biggest fit in a while. I took her uniform off, put her on the potty and left her to put the other 2 in bed. When I came back, she had put her uniform on, went to the bathroom in a different bathroom than I put her in, so I took her uniform off again carried her to her room, put on her pajamas and diaper (yes diaper.  She doesn't stay dry during the day, who expects her to stay dry at night?) and put her in bed. She got up once and got in trouble because she was still mad, but got up a short time later crying a sad cry.  I got her pillow and her blanket (I figured with all the energy she used throwing the fit, I think she needed some comfort), kissed her, told her "I love you," and put her back to bed.  Thankfully, I haven't heard from her since.

Usually passersby are either saying or thinking "Bless her heart" while others are sitting there judging them for letting their children behave like that.  Don't they discipline them.  Sadly, I am guilty of the latter on occasion. Though, because of being one of those moms dealing with a tantrum on occasion, you would think I would have more compassion and understanding toward those who are in the trenches of a stubborn child. I have been trying to be more considerate, but only after my knee-jerk negative reaction to whatever situation I come across.  Being loving is something I struggle with, but I am working on it.  Swallowing my pride is something else that needs work, but, maybe later.

Snippets

I keep thinking of all kinds of things I want to say, but none seem appropriate for fear of offending someone on Facebook, so I let it go, then I forget about it, until I see someone else doing the same thing.

1) I apparently have several friends that are accountants, so Happy 2nd tax deadline!

2) It really bothers me when people don't follow the rules and recommendations of car seats and car safety of little ones.

     - In case you're wondering, you aren't supposed to put a coat on a child in a 5 point harness.

3) It really drives me crazy when parents are so excited to get rid of their kids for 7-8 hours a day so they are free to do anything they want.  Why do you have kids if you don't want to see them for maybe 5 hours a day?

      - This is probably more in reference to stay at home moms who choose to be stay at home moms so they can't see their kids more, and yet jump up and down and do a dance as they leave school.  I have a huge respect for families that have 2 working parents because I don't know when you get things done.  When I work, I'm exhausted when I get home, so I can't imagine being full time, caring for kids, making dinner for the family, shopping for food or anything else.  I'm impressed.

4) It's a little tough right now trying to teach my oldest to read while my 2nd child is reading at a 2nd grade level at the beginning of Kindergarten.  There's a very delicate balance between not getting frustrated that the older one doesn't remember words and sounds that I feel we go over daily and making sure my Kindergartener realizes that she has a lot left to learn.

5) We have lots of friends adopting locally or internationally or fostering with the possibility of adopting.  I have a great respect for them.  As a one income family with 4 kids already, it will likely not be a route we will take, but not just for money reasons.  A friend of mine has been sewing and embroidering all kinds of things to help raise money for their adoption, and their motto is "Adoption is the Gospel."  I'm sure it's not exclusive to them, but I like thinking about it each time I see a new shirt design they come up with.  Another couple we know is fostering 2 babies, they both have jobs, he is in seminary, and with all the appointments that must be made, I couldn't imagine maintaining our schedule at home and have multiple added appointments each week.  They amaze me all the time and I'm so proud of them and gives me a respect for those who foster.

6) I mentioned our schedule at home.  I've been feeling pretty good about our schedule right now.  We are staying (mostly) on track with school and extracurricular activities are keeping us busy.  I was feeling pretty good about myself until a friend of mine posted some pictures of their homeschool activities, and got a big dose of humility.  I am NOT a creative person, so artsy things and activities outside of the norm are difficult for me.

7) I must go and let my husband use his computer now.