Home Sweet Home

We have made it home. We arrived Saturday just before 7PM. We were all tired when we arrived, which made for a good night's sleep on Saturday night, but Jeff and I both slept terribly Sunday night. I felt like I was awake between 1 & 2:30, but I kept having the same "Dream" that I couldn't get out of Japan. I also kept singing the words to "Revive Us Again" and was hoping I would go back to sleep, but it felt like sleep didn't come and I was singing it over and over. There were a few things that I didn't get to before we left, so I thought I would give updates.

I went on Monday to see a 3 year old boy who had surgery 12 days before, but had caught a fever, despite antibiotics. The next day he ended up having surgery because he had an abscess in his head. On Wednesday, there was concern because the hospital wanted KIM to pay for 3 days use of the ventilator ahead of time. Thankfully, he was not on the ventilator when Aileen saw him on Thursday, but was sleeping most of the time still. Today I found out that his stitches have become infected. KIM has been giving him medical attention since he was 5 months old. Please pray for healing and for comfort for his mom.

There was a girl (Merry (or Mary) Joy) in labor on Tuesday, but her labor stalled and they sent her home. She is 16 and when we left, the midwives hadn't heard from her. It is common for first time moms to deliver in the hospital because they haven't given birth before. It is also common for them to call a less qualified midwife to come to their small shack-like homes and give birth in filth. This usually causes the babies to become sick at birth. Please pray that she went to the hospital or came back to the clinic in labor after I left the country to give her baby the best chance.

Jonathan came back safely just before lunch on Friday. He told us all about his experiences and it seems things worked out for our group just as God intended. I love that we can look back on how the whole planning process and see how God orchestrated everything so that He would get the glory.

Jonathan experienced a lot of things, including eating the delicacy Balut. He toured the Chiquita plantation, looked at some different planting options on Mindanao, and talked about some different crops that could be planted to give better nutrition to the people of the Philippines. They eat rice at every meal, but there is very little nutrition in the rice they eat. They also have many dental problems, but they frequently don't repair cavities, they pull teeth. Some of this problem is lack of essential vitamins in the food they eat, including calcium, other causes would be eating lots of sugar because the Sari Sari stores mostly sell junk food. There were several times where we would see some kids opting out of eating the food we were providing at the feeding in lieu of eating a packet of candy from the Sari Sari nearby.

One of the concerns that was presented to us was whether the gospel is being shared in this ministry or if it's just a care ministry. Our concerns were quickly abated when Jeff discovered that the pastor that works with KIM walked away from the feeding area to do a Bible study with the people of that neighborhood. They also do devotions with the children's home each evening, the pregnancy clinic also leads devotions each morning, and the school teaches from a Christian perspective and has chapel each morning.

At KIM, one of the perks of coming to serve is that there is are opportunities to get a massage and a pedicure. We refer to it as "feeding a family". Jeff Long's, the founder of KIM, oldest daughter came back to the Philippines after attending cosmetology school and felt led to teach women how to do hair, pedicures, and to become trained in massage therapy as a way to feed their families. There are people at KIM who also train men. They have taught them to repair washers and dryers, to do construction, and repair vehicles. The minimum wage for the Philippines is 300 pesos per day, but the average worker only makes 150 pesos per day. At KIM, their construction crew works Monday-Friday for 500 pesos per day, but can work on Saturday for overtime pay.

In 11 years of KIM's existence, they have not bought a building unless they could pay it in full, they do not take out loans for anything. Their school serves about 600 children in grades Pre-K through 10th grade. They are hoping to add 11th and 12th grades, but they need more space. They are saving up money to purchase land across the street from the ministry center that sits between their Children's Home and the market. It is about 1 1/2 acres and the seller is asking $260,000 American dollars. They are hoping to add the classrooms for the older kids and a gym for sports activities instead of playing outside on concrete.

Because of the work KIM has done in the community, the mayor has come and paved some roads and put in nice ditches for water to run down, and put in a preschool building. Their neighborhood looks much nicer now than it did 4 years ago, because KIM is giving the community the chance to take ownership of their home by earning it the right way. As the members of the community gain ownership of the land, KIM has helped them build a permanent structure on that land and build the first floor for them. It takes about $3,000 and 10 business days to complete a home. As the homeowners save up, they have built on a 2nd or 3rd story and are renting out a story to provide income for their family.

Part 4

It has been 2 days and still no word of a baby from the mom who was in labor on Tuesday. I woke up at 5:00am praying for her and anxious to hear if she had gotten rest, if the baby came, or anything on how she was doing. I spent most of Wednesday at the Pregnancy Clinic and we saw about 25 ladies. They are starting to use some more family planning methods, but sometimes have some push back because many of them are Catholic, despite the fact that they are not married and having babies.

Jeff drove on Tuesday to the basketball clinic and it took them 2 HOURS to go 8 miles and they were an hour late. He is having a good time playing lots of basketball and getting to coach. He also drove to the feeding Wednesday morning. I'm not sure if he drove to the feeding this morning or not. We have enjoyed this trip and learning about what we might like to do.

On Tuesday I wrote about the boy I went to see in the hospital. He had a fever and there was concern about having another surgery if the fever didn't improve. He had surgery on Tuesday around noon, and we found out Wednesday morning that he was still on a ventilator because they have to pay for medical expenses ahead of time. He was only breathing on his own about 50% of the time, and there is concern that he won't be coming off of the ventilator. The child was really upset by the ventilator tube, and mom is upset because her child is hurting. Everyone is concerned that he won't recover from this surgery. Please pray for them.

I went to the afternoon feeding yesterday and there were many flies around. More than I had seen at any other site. The hardest part about yesterday's feeding was that it was near where we are and we had to drive through a fancy neighborhood to get there. It was nice neighborhoods all the way down the hill, but we parked and walked across and near the creek where there were many homes made of metal, wood, and fabric tarp.

We look forward to hearing Jonathan's report. He is safely in Tacloban learning about that area and their agricultural needs.

Teri

Part 3

Yesterday Jeff went into Manila to CCF (Christ's Commission Fellowship) to do a basketball camp with Kirk Long (Son of Jeff long and former professional basketball player in the Philippines). He also led the devotional time last night (Monday) at the children's home. Today he went to another feeding before lunch and then went to basketball.

The fun part about today for Jeff was that he drove there himself!!! Sadly, there was really bad traffic and it took 2 hours instead of 1 so they were late, but I just think it's great that he got to drive.

While he was out and about, I went to the Hope Alive Pregnancy clinic and helped measure bellies and find fetal heart rates. It was a lot of fun, but before the fun could begin, we had 2 moms in labor and no midwife available. We eventually got a midwife, but one of the moms we transferred to the hospital after the clinic was over, and the other one has been laboring all day. They sent her home at 6pm and was told to call if things moved along more.

Please be in prayer for Mary Joy (16) that she would be able to deliver a healthy baby boy and be able to get some rest because she didn't sleep well. We are also anticipating being called back in the middle of the night, so pray for rest and that we will actually get to be there to help. I will go back again in the morning, as they have clinic hours every Tuesday, Wednesday, & Thursday and see about 20 patients each day. There are several mom's within 2 weeks of their due date, so I might get to see/help with more births.

Also, please be in prayer for our friend Jonathan, who will be flying again tomorrow (Wednesday) to Tacloban, to see some of the devastation still left by Typhoon Yolanda (Haiyan) and assess what kind of vegetation can grow now. We look forward to hearing about his trip soon. I am also hoping to post a few pictures of the new baby soon.

Until tomorrow...or at least our tomorrow.

Philippines Part 2

We sent our friend Jonathan Herb off Sunday morning around 2:00AM for a flight to Mindanao. By the time we left for church, he had arrived and was headed into the mountains for research and learning.

Monday

This morning I left with a Filipino lady that works here at KIM (Kids International Ministries) to go see a patient at the hospital. She goes down every other day to bring water, formula, food, and buy any medicines the boy needs. It was quite an adventure. I even took a camera with me, but was unable to take pictures. There are a few of me with the family. Okay, so here goes:

We left the YMC (ministry center) on a Tricycle (Motorcycle with a side car) with at least 5 passengers on it and drove to the end of the street and caught a Jeepney and rode it to the train station. At the train station we got in one of many lines to buy a ticket. We rode that train all the way to the end of the line. We then walked up and over the tracks, downs the stairs and along a long walkway to the next line of trains, bought a ticket. The train was so full we didn't fit on the next 2 trains. On the third train, we walked on and as I was getting on to the full train, the door started beeping indicating it was going to close. It was so close to me that my pants and the back of my shirt got caught in the door. I guess the train knew I was putting too much pressure on the door, so it opened again, and my new friend Aileen (i-leen) pulled me further into the train. There were people touching us all around us. We drove past the Central Bureau of Investigation (Filipino FBI), Manila City Hall, the National Museum, a very pretty children's park, and the Supreme Court building. When we got to the hospital, we had to please the security because it wasn't visiting hours, and went into the "Room" where the patient was. There are over 30 beds in 1 room/wing and what seemed like very little A/C. We brought them some necessities and then went with the mom to buy his medicine, some water, food for her and her husband, and said good bye for the day. Oh, and did I mention Teresa (the mom) thinks her sister has a picture of me with her at home. They live in Tent City, which we visited when we came in 2012. She is very sweet and loving.

The trip home was much less eventful, but we did have to wait for the car to fill up outside of the train station before they would leave, which took 15-20 minutes. When we got back to our road, it started raining, and we caught another tricycle back to the YMC. I'm sure Jeff will have some stories of his own to tell, but I need to see where I'm needed, so that will have to wait for another day.

Teri

Philippines Part 1

Where to begin?

Last time we came to Manila, we missed our first flight completely and had to come back the next day and arrived 2 days later than expected. We were bound and determined to not miss the flight this time.

Wednesday-Friday

We had no problems on the first flight, but Jeff and I were a bit dizzy, so we took some Dramamine in hopes of it helping on our 2nd flight to Tokyo. When we got on the plane, we both fell asleep. Upon waking up we were both wondering why we weren't in the air. We taxied around the airport for about an hour because some of our fuel injectors weren't working. When we got back to the gate to wait for them to be repaired, the A/C went out in the cabin and the temperature got up to 95 degrees. We had been on the ground so long that our flight crew timed out and a new one had to be called in. We were 5 hours late leaving San Fransisco, so we missed our connecting flight to Manila. We had booked a flight for the following morning and were hoping to get a hotel voucher for the night and stayed awake much of the 10 hour flight. When we got to Tokyo we found out that we needed to go through customs, get our bags, take a bus to another airport, check in again, and board a plane for a 1:30 AM flight to Manila that got in at 4:50 AM. We were unable to sleep much of the flight and arrived tired, but attended feedings, went to Devotion, played basketball, took measurements of the children's home kids, and did everything possible to stay awake until 8:00 so we could sleep.

Saturday

We didn't do much on Saturday. We had our orientation with Jeff Long (the guy who started KIM) and when he found out about Jonathan's passion, he called his people on another island and said he was getting on a plane Sunday morning and we booked him tickets to Mindanao, Tacloban, and a return flight here. One of the girls from the Children's Home was leaving to go back to her mom after 11 years in the care of the Children's Home. We walked around the neighborhood and played with some of the kids and talked with the locals.

Sunday

We attended church where our Missionary Friend, Vince Burke, has been heavily involved for a while with a group from Adventures in Missions. After church we went to Chili's and went shopping at the market/mall. That was an interesting adventure. In the area where we are, most people barely have money to live, but where the mall is, we encountered many people who were wearing head coverings and many people who were either women trying to look like men, or men trying to look like women. We finally went swimming and I (Teri) jumped off of their 4 meter platform into the pool! It was more scary than I expected. We also have been doing the evening devotional time at the children's home.

There are several teams here with us:
Adventures in Missions has 18 people with them
There was a high school team from Hong Kong, but they left and a new team of 26 from Hong Kong arrived Sunday night.
A group of 4 from Wheaton is here for 7 weeks.
A family from California is here with 2 friends (5 people).
Some ministry partners are here with us, and 2 very sweet ladies from Australia are here individually.

The olden days

Do you know the phrase "They don't make things quite like they used to"? Well, I'm becoming more and more familiar with that phrase. Washers and dryers are only supposed to last about 10 years as opposed to the 20 they used to last. Vacuums used to last up to 20 years for the really good ones, but now they go out in 5-7 years, or 10 if you're lucky.

We will be looking for a new to us car in the next several months and as we've done some preliminary research, I have noticed you can get a fairly new car for around $7,000, but they seem to be very cheaply made and I am unsure of how long it would last. When we're talking about spending that kind of money, figuring out the pros and cons of getting an older, more reliable car with a few more miles on it versus a newer car being put up for sale already and makes you wonder what's wrong with it.

As I was getting ready for bed tonight I was deciding which pajama pants to wear. I was going through them and one has bad elastic, one is super soft (the waist is the smallest part of the pants, and I'm not small in the waist AT ALL), and the pair I chose is the best and I prayed that the elastic wasn't bad like one of my newest pairs. I'm super thankful that the elastic is fine.

I noticed, however, that the fabric on the waistband is coming breaking in places and the elastic was showing through. I'm ok that the fabric is worn, but I refuse to give them up. I have a few reasons, not the least of which is that these pants were my brother's when he was sick. He died in 2003, so that should tell you just how old these pants are. It would take a lot of wear for me to say goodbye to these pants. The other pair of pajama pants of his are entirely too big because the elasticity is almost completely gone, so I will have to throw those out soon. As fast as my newer pants have elastic that's breaking, I think I might have these pants until my kids are in high school!

Guilt and Conviction

Well, a lot has happened in our family since May, but unless you've been close to us, you wouldn't have noticed. We applied to go work for FamilyLife Ministries in Little Rock, but we are officially on hold with that until next year at the earliest.

During the process the staff at FamilyLife kept saying they appreciated our honesty and then said, most people would just sweep it under the rug. It bugs me to no end that someone seeking a ministry position would lie on an application, knowing that if they told the truth, they may not get the job. If the lie becomes apparent later, would they lose the job?

With all of the applications and conversations with those close to us, some interesting things have been brought to our attention and God has been working on our hearts in those areas. Granted, we have other areas in which we need to seek God about, but 1 thing at a time.

When having a conversation recently with a friend of mine who is in ministry with me, she mentioned this book by Jen Hatmaker called 7: an experimental mutiny against excess (found here). I went and found it, and boy is it convicting. I have enjoyed her candor and willingness to tell it like it is. Even when she says her heart wasn't completely in the right place, she still stuck with God's plan and responded to the nudging of the Holy Spirit.

There have been many times where I have felt that nudge of something I should do that requires me to get out of my comfort zone, but have ignored it because it seemed inconvenient. I use the same excuses for why I don't exercise. I feel like I should and my 2 oldest need to run more to be in shape for soccer season, but I have 2 other kids that I would have to push in the stroller and it would be hard for me to keep up with them, so why bother? Sound familiar?

FamilyLife is having a Oneness Prayer Challenge for the month of September. Jeff and I have decided to participate and on the first day, we prayed that we would make praying together a priority and wouldn't just forget about it. On day 2, we almost went to bed without praying together, but I said something to him and it turned into a long, almost heated discussion until after midnight. We were honest with each other and had a hard time praying about what we were supposed to pray about because we were having a discussion on our differences. We were supposed to be thankful about our differences and praise God for each other's strengths that make us a better team together. We did calm down, but we were up later than usual.

Stay tuned for more updates on how 7 is impacting me and how things go when a few of my friends and I embark on a 7 inspired journey, seeking God's will in what He wants to teach us.

Weight Gain

So, back in January I did a program called Whole 30 that I blogged about here and here. I felt good for a while, but after spring break, I think I became depressed again.  I had a hard time being involved with the kids in their schooling, despite the fact that we created a chore chart that they do each day.  It was a struggle.  Until recently when I became more active and then the girls followed suit, getting started each day was a big pain. I'm not a morning person and I've said on here that I don't like mornings. I'm not sure I've brought my Vitamin D levels back up yet because I feel tired most of the time still, or get tired after just short activities.

I have gained much of the weight back and have started another round of Whole 30 and just finished Day 4. Whole 30 has a timeline to help you understand that the way you are feeling on a certain day of the diet is pretty common across board for people on Whole 30. The last time I did this, I didn't feel quite so anxious and frustrated like the first few days after you quit anything addicting cold turkey.  I had my hangover on Day 1 instead of day 2-3. We will see how the rest of the days go.  The first time around wasn't too bad because I don't drink sodas or coffee. I do have a slight addiction to sugar, mostly because if there's sugar in the house I try to eat it quickly so I can get it out of the house, and because when I get mad, frustrated or angry, I eat, sometimes beyond my limits. I hope that with this next round, I will find a way to eat close to Whole 30 and be able to add in some non Whole 30 foods without going overboard.

The one thing I felt I did a little better at was going to bed at a reasonable hour. It's not exactly a reasonable hour right now, but I should still get 7+ hours of sleep if I finish this blog and go to bed.

Expectations and Sin

Well, I have yet again been let down by the human condition.  You plan something four months in advance and it all falls apart less than a week before it happens.  This isn't the first time I've been let down and disappointed by others, and it certainly won't be the last.

It also doesn't help that when we are disappointed by others it somehow brings to light our own sin.  I'd like to get mad at people who commit to something and then back out at the last minute, but then my pride and anger come out and then I'm sinning just as much as others who are being flaky and backing out of their commitments.  I understand if a family emergency comes up because we would likely be involved in the family event also, but to disregard children to comfort a friend across the country when you already have plans is just plain selfish.

I also know that the younger women should learn from the older women, but at some point an older woman might need to be confronted by a younger women.  Even in old age, people can change, especially if there's a glaring sin in their life.  We hope to continue learning how to be more Christ-like and overcoming the sin in our life through God's hope.

Recently I have started journaling more often and hope to get some of my feelings out so I don't keep them to myself and forget what I've been thinking.  Please pray that we will find a sitter for this weekend and that we will see God at work through this process instead of being angry at those who've disappointed us.  They are indeed sinners, like everyone on the planet and we hope that we will have the opportunity to give them grace.

Sundays

Almost since the beginning of our marriage Sundays have been a rough day in our house. When I'm pregnant I feel like I don't have anything that fits. Post pregnancy I eit hadn't lost enough weight, or I lost the weight, but got depressed and gained lots of it back (more common), or I was upset and depressed and got upset and flustered by the littlest things and when momma's unhappy, nobody happy. Other times we have too many things to do on a Sunday instead of relaxing and enjoying God's creation and all he's done for us. It makes Sunday stressful instead of a way to recharge before Monday. I think it is starting to make our Mondays almost unbearable. 

Maybe the solution needs to involve a change in my perspective or expectations of the outcome of the day. Maybe we need to be less busy on Saturday so we feel like we are able to rest a little before the week begins again. 

Results and Moving Forward

Doing the Whole30 was a great thing for me to do.  I lost a few inches that I know of, and I have no idea what I weighed when I started.  I don't think I want to know either.  Many of my skirts and jeans that didn't fit previously, fit now, so that's the best part of all of this.  I just hope I don't gain the weight back.  I felt better at the end of it.

I was afraid of incorporating the foods I had previously not been eating for fear of eating too much food, or the wrong food.  I did start to get very grumpy, tired and frustrated, my stomach hurt occassionally, and I felt like I was all of a sudden busier than I had been previously, with less time to prepare meals.

I went to the doctor recently and found out that some of my tired feeling was because of my low Vitamin D.  The normal amount for the test they ran is 30-100 and my number is an 11.  Impressive, I know.  I seem to be fairly healthy other than that.  I also found out that my vitamins that I've taken for the past 8+ years has rice bran in it, so I stopped taking them for my Whole30 and haven't quite gotten back into the habit of taking them again, but I'm trying.

At the end of this, I was hoping to start another Whole 30 right away because my cousin is getting married during spring break, but I didn't start it right away and wasn't feeling well, and I don't want to be in the middle of the Whole30 at the wedding and then feel like I was cheating.  I am so thrilled for my cousin and his soon to be wife.  He's an amazing man and she seems very nice and perfect for him. I will be watching what I eat though.

Dieting

I am currently doing the Whole30.  I didn't know anything about a few weeks ago, but a friend of mine on Facebook said she was going to do it, so I decided to try it out.  It scared me to death to go without cheese, pasta, bread, etc.. In general, it hasn't been hard to figure out what I could eat, but I have to read a lot of labels.  Apparently there are a lot of items I wasn't aware of that I wasn't allowed to eat the first few days.

To give you a general idea, the Whole30 is 30 days of no sugar, alcohol, gluten, legumes, dairy, rice, and eating lots of vegetables and meat.  Fruit is allowed sometimes, nuts (certain kinds) and seeds (but not their oils).

My mistakes:

1. I ate cheese on accident. I did it once thinking I had picked up the sausage below that I probably shouldn't have eaten, and my kids left cheese out with a slice on the knife they didn't eat, so I took a bite.  While I was chewing I realized I was eating cheese and wasn't supposed to, so I spit it out and rinsed out my mouth.
2. I ate sausage that probably had, soybean oil, or MSG, or sugar, or any number of items I wasn't supposed to eat, but didn't realize it.
3. I ate bacon and because it was uncured bacon, I thought it wouldn't have sugar in it.  Apparently there is only one kind of bacon sold in America that doesn't have sugar in it.  I think that's pretty sad.
4. I had sesame oil one day for dinner without realizing that seed oils are on the "no" list.  You can eat the seeds, but not the oils.  I didn't read the science on why not.
5. I ate a few dried cherries, which in themselves isn't on the "no" list, but these particular cherries had sugar in them, which makes them a no.  I was hoping to make my own Larabar type snacks so I could eat something healthy and a little different than just vegetables.
6. They say you should read their book, It Starts with Food, before beginning your Whole30 and plan out your meals so that you get just what you need on your shopping trips.  I didn't.  I did it on a whim.  I'll probably do it again another time, and I'll be more prepared next time.  I have the book now.

I'm on day 18 and I keep seeing all of these foods on commercials and looking through pinterest for foods I can eat and it's hard to watch.  I rarely snack, but some mornings I have a hard time finding breakfast because I'm either out of eggs or sick of them.  I'm also not a morning eater.  So far I don't think I've lost any inches or pounds, but I don't have a scale at home.  I didn't weight or measure myself before I started, but I measured myself on day 10 (though they tell you not to do either).

I'm also tired of eating at home.  It has been 2 weeks since I ate out at a restaurant and am dying to not eat at home.  I ate at Chipotle with a friend thinking I was eating Whole30 compliant, but didn't realize I got the wrong kind of meat in my research that wasn't complete.  i did go to my husband's soccer game and had a hamburger that was just meat with no seasonings and no added ingredients. I also really like to eat dessert. Not every day, but yesterday would have been a good day for dessert.

All that being said, I wasn't eating too poorly before I started.  I've read blogs by different people because they have to stop drinking alcohol, or they can no longer put milk or sugar in their morning coffee.  I don't drink coffee or alcohol.  I was starting to drink more hot tea because it's winter, and I put maybe a teaspoon in each cup to cut down on the bitterness.  I only drink sodas once in a while.  We never buy drinks in twelve packs.  I tend to be careful about what my family eats, but when I get frustrated, I start eating whatever sugar I can find.  I would say I haven't been quite so grumpy and wanting sugar, so much as I have wanted food from outside my home.  We make our own bread from flour, water, yeast, olive oil, salt and a little sugar in our bread machine, the only box mix I buy is macaroni and cheese, I always use fresh or frozen vegetables with the exception of diced tomatoes and black beans (which I realize is not a vegetable), and I only buy fresh fruit with the exception of natural applesauce that only has vitamin C to keep it from browning.  Maybe my days of intaking sugar were causing my problems, but there's also a chance I have a thyroid problem, since my thyroid has been enlarged since I was early in pregnancy with my 4th child 2 years ago and it hasn't gone away.  I need to go see a family practitioner for a regular check up, but haven't been to the doctor since my follow up visit after Nathan was born.  I guess I'll get started in making doctor appointments.

Snippets

I have so many things I want to say and no where to say them.

1. My cousin gave birth last week!  I am so excited.  My cousins are the closest things I have to siblings, so it's like the first cousins on my side of the family.

2. I've gotten very susceptible to the adoption bug.  There's a little boy that was recently removed from a very tough situation.  We REALLY need prayers for wisdom.

3. I've discovered over the last several years, that as much as I love giving gifts, the traditions of others and getting money instead of gifts is understandable but annoying at times.

4. I get exhausted when we are busy, but I get lazy when I have nothing to do and it isn't pretty.

5. Soccer has started, I have to get dinner ready by myself and sometimes I serve it alone too, and I haven't doubled recipes lately to keep stock in my freezer for January.

6. PSA: It is recommended by the APA to keep children in a rear facing position until the age of 2. In Texas they are also required by law to be in some sort of booster seat until the age of 8 or until they are 4'9" tall, whichever comes first. Here are the details and guidelines for buying car seats of all sizes in all states.

7.  Also in the car seat discussion: Coats are not to be worn with a five point harness.  There's too much space between the baby/child and the safety harness.  There's a big risk your child could get thrown from the seat/vehicle in the event of a crash.

8. Some friends of ours are experiencing Christmas for the first time as parents and she posted on her blog recently about their plan.  We had been following her plan for the most part, but I hadn't quite thought it through this year. It goes something like this:
       Something you want
       Something you need
       Something to wear
       Something to read
I found this on Pinterest and they added two lines to it that we already do, but thanks to their blog we may begin to change our tradition on giving.
       Something to hang on the Christmas tree
       and something to give to the least of these

9. We had our Christmas cards finished before Christmas last year, but I didn't stamp or close them, so they sat on our counter for 5 months.  One of those envelopes was for a dear friend, but she died before we got the letter to her. I hope we can get our cards out much sooner this year.

Adoption

I think I have stated on here that several of our friends are fostering or adopting, or both.  I have great respect for them.  With our family already having four kids close together, it's not in the cards for us right now to take on another child.  I work with a child that has gone through the foster system, and sure he's hyperactive, but he can read fairly well (but apparently not quite at grade level), and he seems like he's adjusting fairly well.  It's not until you try to talk to him about how things are going does he get defensive and shut down.  Some other people we know are waiting to go get their son, but the country is closed to adoption, so they can't get in country to bring him home.  My heart just wouldn't be able to bear the constant up and down of emotions.  I've gone through enough of that in my pregnancies, and we can't go through that again for a while.

I think what God wants us to do is to be open to Him.  Be receptive to His leading and obey what He says.  We feel it's best to not get pregnant right now, but that doesn't mean in a few years we would ignore God's instruction to expand our family, either by a child of our own or an adoption, I can't say. It breaks my heart to hear about children, not just orphans, who don't get to go to school, or don't have money for food.  I feel like I should care for them all, but know it's not reasonable for our family right now.

We are called as Christians to care for the widows and orphans, but that doesn't mean we will have them running all through our home. We keep praying about adoption, but we aren't there yet, and we may never be.

I have a heart for families with young children, but have to be content with my place now. My mother-in-law helps young families as often as she can. I keep praying that when my kids are older I will be able to do the same for the young families around me. I can't be if much help other than encouraging and praying for young and new moms while I have 4 little ones running around.

Parenting

So have you seen those kids in public who throw a knock down drag out tantrum?  You know the ones, usually 2-3 years old and the mothers are desperately trying to get them to stop throwing a fit and embarrassing her and themselves in public.

Well, I've been one of those parents dealing with a kid throwing a public tantrum lately, only the child of mine throwing the fit is five and a half.  I'm usually worried about if they think I'm trying to steal her or if I'm abusing her.  I do my best not to look at anyone for fear of the stares or comments coming my way.  Last Saturday at the game she asked to come off the field to go to the bathroom.  After coming off she refused to go, so I carried her, the ENTIRE way to the bathroom, and she grunted at me for several minutes in the bathroom before she relaxed enough to go to the bathroom.  At practice earlier this week, she threw a fit and refused to do what she was asked to do during a drill, so I made her sit in the stroller facing the baseball fields until she calmed down (it didn't take too long), and she was allowed to return to practice.

Today...oh today...she was warned because of her behavior in previous games that if she threw a fit she wouldn't get to go back in the game.  She started grunting and then she started screaming and stomping and flailing her arms about.  I tried to put her in the stroller to give her a chance to calm down, but she escaped and continued screaming, so we tried to leave.  I carried her all the way back to the car while pushing the stroller.  Thankfully my sister-in-law was there to carry Nathan to the car.  I set her down in the car, my SIL let my 3 y.o. in the car, I buckled my 1 y.o. in his seat, and closed the door.  She was still throwing a fit when I shut the door, but she can't get out of the vehicle without going out the front door.  For the record, she rode the whole way home with no seat belt on because I refused to pin her down to attempt to put her belt on. Today was probably her biggest fit in a while. I took her uniform off, put her on the potty and left her to put the other 2 in bed. When I came back, she had put her uniform on, went to the bathroom in a different bathroom than I put her in, so I took her uniform off again carried her to her room, put on her pajamas and diaper (yes diaper.  She doesn't stay dry during the day, who expects her to stay dry at night?) and put her in bed. She got up once and got in trouble because she was still mad, but got up a short time later crying a sad cry.  I got her pillow and her blanket (I figured with all the energy she used throwing the fit, I think she needed some comfort), kissed her, told her "I love you," and put her back to bed.  Thankfully, I haven't heard from her since.

Usually passersby are either saying or thinking "Bless her heart" while others are sitting there judging them for letting their children behave like that.  Don't they discipline them.  Sadly, I am guilty of the latter on occasion. Though, because of being one of those moms dealing with a tantrum on occasion, you would think I would have more compassion and understanding toward those who are in the trenches of a stubborn child. I have been trying to be more considerate, but only after my knee-jerk negative reaction to whatever situation I come across.  Being loving is something I struggle with, but I am working on it.  Swallowing my pride is something else that needs work, but, maybe later.

Snippets

I keep thinking of all kinds of things I want to say, but none seem appropriate for fear of offending someone on Facebook, so I let it go, then I forget about it, until I see someone else doing the same thing.

1) I apparently have several friends that are accountants, so Happy 2nd tax deadline!

2) It really bothers me when people don't follow the rules and recommendations of car seats and car safety of little ones.

     - In case you're wondering, you aren't supposed to put a coat on a child in a 5 point harness.

3) It really drives me crazy when parents are so excited to get rid of their kids for 7-8 hours a day so they are free to do anything they want.  Why do you have kids if you don't want to see them for maybe 5 hours a day?

      - This is probably more in reference to stay at home moms who choose to be stay at home moms so they can't see their kids more, and yet jump up and down and do a dance as they leave school.  I have a huge respect for families that have 2 working parents because I don't know when you get things done.  When I work, I'm exhausted when I get home, so I can't imagine being full time, caring for kids, making dinner for the family, shopping for food or anything else.  I'm impressed.

4) It's a little tough right now trying to teach my oldest to read while my 2nd child is reading at a 2nd grade level at the beginning of Kindergarten.  There's a very delicate balance between not getting frustrated that the older one doesn't remember words and sounds that I feel we go over daily and making sure my Kindergartener realizes that she has a lot left to learn.

5) We have lots of friends adopting locally or internationally or fostering with the possibility of adopting.  I have a great respect for them.  As a one income family with 4 kids already, it will likely not be a route we will take, but not just for money reasons.  A friend of mine has been sewing and embroidering all kinds of things to help raise money for their adoption, and their motto is "Adoption is the Gospel."  I'm sure it's not exclusive to them, but I like thinking about it each time I see a new shirt design they come up with.  Another couple we know is fostering 2 babies, they both have jobs, he is in seminary, and with all the appointments that must be made, I couldn't imagine maintaining our schedule at home and have multiple added appointments each week.  They amaze me all the time and I'm so proud of them and gives me a respect for those who foster.

6) I mentioned our schedule at home.  I've been feeling pretty good about our schedule right now.  We are staying (mostly) on track with school and extracurricular activities are keeping us busy.  I was feeling pretty good about myself until a friend of mine posted some pictures of their homeschool activities, and got a big dose of humility.  I am NOT a creative person, so artsy things and activities outside of the norm are difficult for me.

7) I must go and let my husband use his computer now.

Lifelong Enjoyment

When I was young, I took piano lessons.  I asked and asked for lessons.  Then we moved and my friends were taking dance, so I wanted to take dance.  We didn't have much money, so I had to choose whether I wanted to take dance or continue piano lessons.  I chose piano.  We moved again and was too busy with band and sports that the idea of taking piano lessons didn't come up.  Did I want to take lessons?  Occasionally I wanted to take lessons again, but never asked, and truth be told, I was terrible about practicing.  I had other things I wanted to do.  When it comes to learning, I haven't had many instances where I had to try hard, and because of that, I don't think I have a strong work ethic. 

In college, I played at a friend's house occasionally, but I never play within earshot of others.  I didn't want others to hear me play for fear of being judged.  I've played for judges during yearly tests about memorization of a certain number of pieces and the ability to sight read music.  Some years I did better than others, but after I stopped taking lessons, I quit playing for people.  I played in the mall, for church, and recitals, but I don't like playing for people.

My mom took my grandmother's piano when she died and it was understood that it was my piano, but it took 6 years before we finally made an effort to get it to our house (and by effort I mean my parents rented a Uhaul trailer to bring us a couch and the piano).  The girls enjoy playing on it once in a while, and I have taught them the note names, where middle C is, etc,.  I went through all of our piano books (my old ones and my mom's old ones) and got the itch to play.  I played this morning for a while the kids were playing outside and Jeff was mowing.  I played more after lunch too, and finally let the kids hear me play.  Two of them ignored me and the other just said why are you playing that?  I think I'll be playing more often for enjoyment and not worry about what it sounds like.  

This year, we are going to be going through my old piano books and I'm going to try to teach them a few things and set aside time each day to practice what I want them to learn.  We are also going to be taking dance lessons, so this should be interesting.  I know nothing about dance.  I am an athlete, but I am in no way equipped to handle kids in dance.  This should be an interesting year, but I am looking forward to it. 

Frustration

Thankfully this is not going to be a soap box kind of frustration that I want to talk about today.  One of the reasons we chose our current church is because they have Adult Bible study classes on Wednesday nights.  During the summer they have 2 "terms" and 3 classes to choose from each term.  We enjoyed our classes last year, and even though we didn't go to the 1 class offered during the school year (alone time, baby recovery, exercise time, grocery store, etc), we took the opportunity to attend classes again this summer.  The first class we attended was about families being under attack and ways to help build our families up biblically by knowing each other and improving our relationship by making sure our relationship with God was good.

The second class helped us identify our spiritual gifts (if you don't know what your spiritual gift is, you can take one here) and figure out how our gifts can be utilized in the growing/building up of the church.  Servants find a place to serve, teachers to teach, administrators organize events, etc..

Sounds like a great thing to do in a new church right?  Well not if your gift is prophecy!!  I am an introvert who sees most things in black and white and because of that I can be somewhat legalistic.  I am old enough and have been aware enough to realize I need to be careful and tell people what is right and wrong based on grace and love and not just yell at people.  Mercy isn't exactly my strong suit.  Did I mention that not many people have this gift?  This gift is not like the prophets in the Bible where God told them a specific

So now what?

I am not where I want to be or should be in my relationship with the Lord.  If I were, I would better understand scripture, be able to call out others' sin in a loving way, deal with my family better, serve my church in a way that builds it up in unity and help to spur each other on as we become more Christ-like.  As it stands now, I'm a (relatively) young introverted female, not completely in tune with God, gifted with prophecy.

Don't get me wrong, I see people breaking laws, behaving sinfully and say something about it, but not to their face.  I'm either in my car or tell my poor (and loving) husband about it.  I thought because I had rebelled in my teenage years, I might have something to teach teenage girls.  We were in youth ministry for a few years, but I never had the opportunity to share any of my experiences.  I'm a terrible speaker, so I would never be able to talk to larger groups of girls.

As of now I am just someone who wants to use her gifts to spur the church into greatness by challenging current believers to question their actions as their witness in an unbelieving world.  If you know how this plays out in today's church, I'd really like to know.

In other news...

Nathan is WALKING!
Julia is now 3!!!
School starts in 1 week people, 1 week!

Nurse for a Day

In the past I have worked as a substitute school nurse as a way to get out of the house, earn some money, and use some of my nursing skills.  This year I did not work for a number of reasons:

1. moved far enough away from family to make it really difficult to have them babysit starting at 7:15
2. We added a fourth to our brood
3. Our oldest started Kindergarten and I was unsure of how that would go with a new baby in the house.

This week I got to volunteer with our old church as they serve the kids of East Plano.  Plano Bible Chapel has teamed up with other churches in the area to bring Pine Cove's Camp In The City to kids who might not otherwise get to go to camp.  It's a great program you can read about here.

I enjoyed getting to be a nurse for a change.  I enjoy being a nurse when I can.  Sadly, I don't get to work the whole week because of our schedule, but it would be fun.  It's really amazing to see the love of God shared with local children through multiple churches working as one.  It was also fun to see familiar faces.

Pine Cove is an excellent camp with many different kinds of programs for all ages.  Check it out if you get a chance.

All Grown Up...well, sort of

My baby boy turned 1 today!  He got his 3rd haircut yesterday.  He started toddling around with our walking toy.  He's walking along the furniture more and has discovered cabinets.  He is my 2nd heaviest baby at 1, even after all that fuss about him not gaining weight fast enough.  We are transitioning to milk, which he loves much better than the formula he had for about 1-2 weeks.  He is in the screaming stage right now, so he screams a VERY high pitched scream a LOT!  He doesn't have to be mad/cranky, he just shrieks, and I will be glad to get him out of this phase.

Julia will be 3 in 2 weeks.  I still tell everyone she's 2, but if someone asks my kids' ages I would say 1, 2, 5 and 6, but really it's basically 1, 3, 5, 6.  It's just so weird to say she's 3.  I can't wait to see how tall she is when we go to the doctor in a few weeks.  She talks ALL THE TIME!!!  We decided to get her a preschool program so she has something specific to do while the girls are doing their work.  She will start Cubbies when school starts.  She is mostly potty trained (has an occasional accident, takes naps with no diaper, will some days stay dry overnight.

Bekah has been very vocal about her thoughts lately, usually in a rather rude manner, so she's been doing lots of thinking about her tone of voice and her words. She is looking forward to kindergarten and being old enough to do kids choir this fall and playing soccer with her sister again this year.  She was learning to ride her bike, but forgot and is now scared and difficult to convince to continuously pedal so she doesn't fall over.  She gives up and heads straight for the nearest exit off the road.

Rachel is changing a lot.  She has lost several teeth and her front 2 are finally coming in.  We all made it to the dentist and they didn't say anything about her mouth, so I guess we"re ok.  I'm hoping Rachel still enjoys school this year and I'm praying that I have the diligence to do the things I have scheduled for us to do and to have patience with her when she gets frustrated and wants to quit or not try.  She is determined to try out for a speaking part this fall with kids choir.  I'm not sure how that's going to go, but I will try to stay positive.